If You Really Knew Me

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I attended a writing workshop yesterday led by three fantastic facilitators (Lorraine Marshall-Rey, Michael Brockley, and Jeffrey Owen Pearson). The workshop title was “Writing the Lonely Life” and the topic was loneliness, being alone, and writing. I will attend a writing workshop on any topic. I like to keep my claws sharp. Plus, I meet the most fascinating people at writing workshops. There seems to be an automatic trust among kindred spirits. After a few minutes getting to know each other, we put our vulnerabilities on the table like scalpels during open heart surgery.

One of the ice breakers the fantastic facilitators used was an exercise called “If You Really Knew Me”. We went around the room telling each other what they would know about us if they really knew us. We discovered that one of the facilitators (Mike Brockley) has over 700 “conversational” ties, each one with a theme or story. We learned that a couple writers struggle with depression, one writer just graduated and feels lost, another one used to be in a cult. I shared about overcoming a phobia of escalators and using that same fear-facing strategy to publish my writings that I had spent years putting in a box or throwing away.

After I left the workshop and thought more about the exercise, I thought about some other things I could have shared, like how I have a touch of OCD that prevents me from letting any canned goods be upside down in my cabinets or how I would rather read and listen to the rain than watch TV or how I redirected negative emotions of an abused childhood to write and publish books to help others that have gone through the same thing.

But then, if you really knew me, you would know I wouldn’t want to mention anything that seemed like bragging. It is a fine line we walk between sharing our stories to get to know each other better and staying silent to avoid sideways glances and shoulder shrugs.

Of course withdrawal is where loneliness begins and thus the need for workshops such as this one where we learn about anaphoras and ghazals, pair up to create couplets, dance, laugh, birth poems, and make new friends that helps fill the abyss of loneliness with the connection we all crave.

Write on.

WriterKat

Below is a poem my new friend Helen Townsend and I created at the workshop. We both created couplets separately, then when we paired up to put the poem together, we were in awe of how one line seemed to be responding to the other, almost as if the inner voice of strength was talking one through the fear (which was a word we both came up with when asked to list the cost of loneliness). It was a fun exercise. 

Defeat

I want to step out into light

but loneliness keeps me in a shroud of fear.

    Take off your eye glasses

    De-focus your fear.

I am a fist

of pain and fear.

    Twirl your precious stones

    let your fingers forget fear.

My face hides a

self-imposed prison of fear.

    Walk outside in inside-out-socks

    Your feet splash puddles of fear.

My strength is here

I don’t feel fear.

 

 

Welcome to Oz

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The Wizard of Oz is my favorite movie. When I was a kid, I loved the technicolor and the idea of getting swept up in a storm to visit a magical place. As an adult, I appreciate the subtle message of the movie and I see it in action every day.

Many of us are looking to the great and powerful OZ, whoever that may be, to help us achieve our dreams when the ability to make it happen resides within us. We just have to believe in ourselves as much as we believe in Oz. After all, Oz turned out to be human with just as many insecurities and flaws as the rest of us.

So click your heals and skip along the adventurous, sometimes scary, road to make whatever it is you are searching for in someone else come alive in you!

Write on.

WriterKat

Scaredy Cat

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I admit it, I’m a scaredy cat. I’m afraid of the violence that’s happening in the world. I’m afraid for my children, grandchildren and other loved ones’ future. I’m afraid of not being able to support myself and my family financially. I’m afraid of the effects of processed and GMO food. I’m afraid I will never be at my ideal weight. I’m afraid I will never live the life of my dreams. I’m afraid I will never overcome my insecurities or the stigma of my past. I’m afraid I won’t write a bestseller. I’m afraid no one is listening when I speak, reading what I write, or will attend my events. I’m afraid the voices in my head will lead me to a life of mediocrity. I am afraid of so many things…

BUT, I do not let fear define me. Every day I wake up and face my fears. I move forward despite the fear. I write. I hold the events. I help others. I keep smiling. I keep the faith… and as I move through the fear, it fades like fog in the morning light.

Fear may continue, but the more I lean into the fear the stronger I become and fear turns into fuel for success.

Write on!

#WriterKat

 

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